Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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