belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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