We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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