he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
