I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
