So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
