My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
