I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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