just tell him i said nine months
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
