We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
