i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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