and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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