Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
