were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
