he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
