Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
