Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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