not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this will be a night to untag.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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