she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
