these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
