Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he thought i was a dude.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
