Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You took a bar mat shot.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
