I'm gonna have a badass scar
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
