His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You ruined the universe
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
