He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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