Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You took a bar mat shot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
