dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
