if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
