The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
