I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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