I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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