so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
3 2 1 whiskey
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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