What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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