i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
