So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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