FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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