she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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