Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
