david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
