quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
