dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
