What a fucking waste of an outfit
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
