i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
