Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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