Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
