Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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