so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
