So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
