so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
