The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
