office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
