the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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